I have no idea whether these are true or not, as they were sent on a mass e-mail via Adrian. However,..

1) From the London Daily Mirror, Monday April 7th 2003, page 4 Brit Pilot’s Punch-up A Furious British Helicopter Pilot who came under “friendly fire” from American troops landed yards from them, leapt out and exchanged punches with a US Marine.

The Chinook pilot shouted at him: “When was the last time you saw a f******* Iraqi in a helicopter?”

The pilot and the marine had to be pulled apart as American troops advanced on the north of Baghdad, according to US reports from US Central Command in Qatar.

British military spokesman Group Captain Al Lockwood said: “I’m afraid it would be an RAF kind of thing to do. “These guys are not known for tolerating fools gladly.”

2) The following was broadcast live on CNN on the 24th of March……………..

In front of camera is the CNN anchor. He is joined by three American military experts (one being a retired two-star general from the ‘elite’ Delta Force) and an ex SAS soldier. Footage on side-screen shows Iraqi soldiers surrendering to coalition troops.

CNN Anchor: “We’ve no current verification as to whether these are US or British troops the Iraqis are surrendering to.”

Yank 1: “They look to be ours - only US troops wear boots like those.”

Yank 2: “Indeed, and they appear to have the standard issue camouflage fatigues.”

Yank 3 (Delta Force): “I’m not sure - we’ll have to get close-up images of them to be 100%. We’ll definitely be able to tell from the shape of their Kevlar helmets if they’re ours.”

Ex SAS: “I’m surprised to learn you’re all experts. Since when did US forces carry the SA80 rifle as standard issue? Their DPMs could’ve been bought, as could their boots and webbing for that matter, so you’re chasing rainbows if you can I.D them from their clothes!”

Anchor: “I think you’re right.”

Ex SAS: “Of course I’m bloody right - anyone with half a brain and basic military training worth their salt should be able to I.D a British soldier by his rifle unless he’s special forces! Not to mention the fact that they’re covering all their arcs of fire properly, not shouting “woo yeah!” randomly and haven’t raised a flag in direct contravention of their orders!”

……At this point one of the Americans pulls his mic off and leaves the floor. The other two look very uncomfortable…….

Anchor: “I think we can safely say that the soldiers on your screen are British…….Now for these messages…….”

Stranger things have happened!

I would put these on my Amazon wishlist, but I think they may be a little expensive.

Anyway, I wouldn’t fit my feet into them in a million years (even if I cut off toes, which wouldn’t look so attractive in strappy sandals). They’re just SO Sex and the City!

From today on, you’ll be able to get from London to Cardiff (well, actually to just outside the gene puddle) in 55 minutes. At £18 each way for a bargain flight, it’s still cheaper than the £50 I paid when I decided to go to London, at short notice on a Saturday last year on the train.

As it takes me 10 minutes to get to Cardiff Wales airport from my house, I think this may be the way forward. London friends beware!

It was good to read that GlaxoSmithKline have finally seen sense and reduced the price of Aids drugs to poorer countries. Whether it was really “improved manufacturing” techniques, or a bowing down to public pressure, it’s excellent news, nonetheless.

And who said the French had no sense of humour?

So, if you’re bored, hop over to Mad Musings of Me and try today’s Kid’s TV Quiz.

That’ll keep you amused for a bit.

On a related note, my dear friend has just informed me his mother sang the theme tunes to numbers 6 and 11! Wow, another, almost celebrity in my extended friendship (I think siblings, parents, etc are perfectly justifiable for drunken ramblings).

This of course did remind me of my nick-name in Sixth Form, which was taken directly from number 11. I leave you to guess, but I had big, 1980’s Ben Elton glasses and a rather round face at the time. I’m saying no more…

I may - and I will emphasise here the “may” - have some good news, jobwise, in May. If so, I will report back. If not, I never said a thing!

Have just worked out that I can see what people have entered into their search engines to end up here, in the small gene puddle. So, for those of you looking for:

Nasty lingerie, might I suggest your local charity shop, where you may be able to find some wash-grey smalls;

Haircuts for obese: Houston an American site might help;

White sock fetish - try Merthyr Tydfil;

Techno-phob, you might want to start in a library, rather than on the internet!

and,

Cardiff massage Wales somewhere else entirely!

Oh, the joys of the Internet and the people whose lives intersect.

I’m sorry, but would you want this man in charge of your economy? Well, OK, against what we have at present, maybe yes!

Friday saw the funeral of one of my all time musical heroines, Nina Simone. As well as being a great pianist, artist and singer, she also played an instrumental role in the civil rights movement in the US during the 1960’s.

A sad, sad loss.