And, as a postscript, with the writing I do, can you imagine how many times I have to check that I’ve blogged “come” and not “cum”? It’s all too confusing!

Just to say, it’s about time!

What, you thought I’d let the moment pass without comment? Ha! And you think you know me!

The Other Half and I went to see “American Wedding” the third of the American Pie trilogy this evening. And, yes, it is turged pap, but nonetheless, some of the gags are as funny as one and two. If you liked them, go see. If you didn’t - avoid like the plague.

Anyway, this was going somewhere - oh yes, James. Now, there’s a leap for you! At the beginning of the film, there is a James track played - except it’s not James playing. Now, I’m a bit of a James fan, but do you think I could remember the name of said song? Of course not! So, Other Half and I sat in the local flea-pit waiting for the credits to roll around to the song list, basically so I could satisfy my curiousity. We were laying bets as to whether it was Wheatus by this time - and the usherette was looking decidely spooked that this couple were just sat - not moving staring at the screen.

The projectionist, at this time obviously hankering after his cup of tea, stopped the credits early! So, we left. Not to worry, thought I, I’ll just check it out on the internet. Easy, you may think. The girl has a blog, it’ll take two minutes! Ha! Did it heck as like. Twenty minutes later, the track is called “Laid” (which, of course, I knew the moment I saw it!) and the singer is someone called Matt Nathanson - who I have no clue about.

So, that’s another evening wasted. Really should get back to that list…

It started raining about 10 minutes ago. What, I hear you cry, your in Wales, of course it’s raining. Even your bloody blog says it always does!

Ah, dear readers, just recently, it really hasn’t. We have had hot days and balmy nights. It’s been like the childhood summers, when you can never remember a drop of rain falling. The summers where you ran bare-foot and free amongst the wheat fields (well, OK, that’s a little bit Swallows and Amazons, but you catch my drift).

At the BBQ I went to on Sunday, the massed ranks were discussing what a wonderful summer we had had. How it seems to have lasted since Easter - with only a few weeks of bad weather in between. And, do you know what, I can’t even remember a water shortage being mentioned! Of course, we’ve all become pretentious and drink bottled water, so that’s probably taken the strain off the reservoirs, somewhat. As has the move from sweeping lawns to decking - there is so much less to water thanks to Alan ‘bloody’ Titchmarsh!

Anyway, it’s raining…!

I’m distracted at the moment. Distracted by the new job. Distracted by College work. Distracted by friends chatting until the wee small hours. Distracted by the on-going home improvements. Well, just distracted, generally. I need to make a list. I’ll feel more in control then. I keep remembering things that I should be doing - and then forgetting all about them again.

It’s like my tax return. It’s sitting on my desk, looking at me from time to time. I know I need to fill it in, but the hundreds of pages and the fact I have never done one before is putting me off.

Similarly, I have another essay due next week. Have I done the reading? Have I buggery! It looks like a good essay - all about the Cold War - and I should be getting into the battle between neo-isolationism and empire building of the post World War 2 American regime. But, am I? Not one jot. I just keep thinking - well, only two months and the course - and the degree - will be over. However, this is not the attitude - and I’ll end up not passing the bloody thing and having to re-sit next year.

Even simple tasks are beyond me! Remembering friends birthdays - there are a few coming up - and even making a decision about what to do for my birthday next week (it’s on Wednesday if you want to send a card, present, new Alfa Romeo, etc) is proving taxing. I mean, what do you do for a night out when you hit the ripe old age of 32?

So, it’s list making, then. I need a list. I will make a list… perhaps tomorrow!

If you’ve had a bad day in the office, if the partner has burnt the dinner, if you just fancy the chance to vent your spleen, then Swearline could be for you. And, it’s all in the name of art, don’t you know!

Sometimes, people you know end up being quoted in the strangest of places!

Between terrible connectivity (thanks to NTL on that one!), time in London for partying and a Bank Holiday weekend, which again included much alcohol, I feel I have been neglecting you all! So, a brief update:

a. Technical problems - You may have gathered that there have been some terrible problems with my computer and connectivity over the last week or so. I hope they are now solved - although the Other Half did mention that he thinks there is a “Nacchi Worm” lurking. If any of you have a quick fix, I’d be grateful for your advice. Otherwise, it’ll probably take me a few days to find a patch, like it did last time!

b. London - For the third Cliterati Party, held in a very nice cocktail bar (The Crescent?) on Leicester Square. The dress looked fab (although it took a Status Quo pin to hold things together around the bust area - it’s a long, long story, involving a friends dodgy musical taste and a snog with Francis Rossi, which I won’t subject you too…). The shoes were equally SATC gorgeous - although walking was an issue by the end of the night! I had several people come up and ask me where I’d bought them. There is something completely delicious about being able to turn around to someone, in London, and say “Oh, I got them from this wonderful shoe shop in Cardiff - I’m not sure if you can get them here…”!! There were celebs around, but I wouldn’t know a member of said pop group if they came up and introduced themselves! Jo King, the striptease artiste also told me that I had a wonderful smile, but that, as they say, is another story….

c. Bank Holiday - B&Q and BBQ - one involved alcohol, the other didn’t. Other Half is painting the bathroom, so that the floor can be laid later this week. Then it’s all over. We’ve already had the bill from the builders (*gulp*). Then, it’ll be on to the next project. Master bedroom, I think - but we’ll see….!

So, thats a recap on my last few days. How was your weekend, by the way…?

I cried! It did post first time!

Things are slowly returning to normal. But, godammit, it’s slow. I pay for broadband don’t you know - and this is running slower than, well, a tortoise turning a wheel, which is powering a coal-fired generator. Well, you know what I mean!

Anyway, IM’d with Party Central for Thursday night. All systems go! Outfits discussed at length - including shoes. It’s all getting very girlie. And to think, only yesterday, I was sat in the pub, bemoaning my teams lack of ball control (but, the least said about that match, the better..)!

Regardless - full steam ahead to Thursday! 68 hours and counting…..

The following post has been edited for family viewing:-

My darling internet providers have a problem. It is there problem, not mine. However, this did not prevent me from spending three and a half hours this evening thinking that it was. As a result, I have deleted files, tidied folders, run defragment, run CHKDSK (whatever that is!) and generally done everything within my limited computing capability to try and make my machine run. I even resorted to phoning My Dear Friend for assistance.

There was much swearing. I have used words beginning with F (you know, like “flip”), B (like “bottom”) and, even, C (like “cripes” and “crumbs”) to such an extent that the cats and the Other Half are all now in hiding. My computer nearly flew out of the attic window as well, at one point.

And, now that I know that it as service problem - and not my fault in any way whatsoever - do I feel any calmer. Strangely, not one iota. I am still ready to kill!

So, some advice. If you are anywhere near the Gene Puddle this evening, and you hear long strings of expletives exuding from an attic window, keep on walking. In fact, start to run! At some point, I may actually explode - and take you with me!

And, if this post loads the first time, I may just break down and cry!